Brooke: Hi! I’m Babbling Brooke, the producer of "Sam & Ted's Famous Last Words". Welcome to the Babbel Sound Studio, where we’re sitting in on an American and a Brit twisting each others words, getting tongue tied and generally reflecting upon the strange beauty of that majestic, rather odd thing we call the English Language…

You're listening to "Sam and Ted's Famous Last Words".

Sam: Ted, did you get your ears pierced?

Ted: Yeah, do you like it? Everyone in Berlin has piercings and tattoos these days.

Sam: Yeah that’s true, but what are those things hanging from your ears? I mean, those new earrings you're wearing. What are they made of?

Ted: What do you think they’re made of?

Sam: Well… they look a bit like those little cheeses you buy in the supermarket, you know the ones that are covered in red wax? They’re kind of like a mini Edam, I think they're called Mini Babybel.

Ted: What are you asking, Sam?

Sam: Ted, are your earrings made of baby cheeses?

Ted: Baby Jesus?! Lord no!!!! Sam, you know my thoughts on religion.

Sam: Well, not really. All we ever talk about is English… I mean we’ve never discussed your religious beliefs. You could be a Mormon, or a Mooney or Amish… Anyway, they say you should never discuss religion or politics, not in polite company.

Ted: Sure. You don’t want to know what people really think. I lost a lot of friends that way.

Sam: Is that why you left America?

Ted: Ha, yeah. I escaped to Berlin. Speaking of Americans in Berlin, have you ever heard of Mark Twain?

Sam: The world famous writer? Of course I have! We do have schools in England, you know.

Ted: Good, well Mark Twain once said:
 
"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."

Sam: Yeah, I can understand that. Hey, your parents have a dog, right?

Ted: Yeah, he’s called Jazz.

Sam: He’s a poodle, isn't he?

Ted: Uh-huh. And he never talks about politics.

Sam: Well of course. Dogs have a lot of important stuff to do like chasing sticks and digging holes. They’ve got no time for politics.

Ted: Exactly. Now going back to Mark Twain, you know what he said about German?

Sam: No, but I feel you do.

Ted: Yeah, I sure do. He said:
 
“I don't believe there is anything in the whole world you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.”

Sam: True. A lot of English speakers find it hard to learn German in Berlin…

Ted: Yeah, it’s hard to get up for German class when you’ve been out dancing all night.

Sam: Hahaha, sure is! Umm you know, I never thought about it before, but you and Mark Twain have a lot in common.

Ted: Do we?

Sam: Yeah. Mark Twain was an American, he lived in Berlin, he liked to drink cocktails in the morning… and I bet he mansplained things, just like you do!

Ted: He did what?

Sam: Mansplain. You know, when a man explains something (often to a woman or coworker) in a patronising way.

Ted: That’s a neologism. A NEW WORD, listeners. Mansplain is a combination of man and explain.

Sam: There you go, mansplaining again.

Ted: Whatever, sweetheart. You ever heard of manterrupting?

Sam: Sounds like something you might have read about on the Internet, Ted. 
 
Have you been cyberslacking again?

Ted: Ummm excuse me, Sam?

Sam: You do know what cyberslacking is -

Ted: Yes - I know what cyberslacking is. Cyberslacking is when you use your company's internet to… amuse yourself personally while you're supposed to be working. 

Sam: And you've never done that I suppose?

Ted: Never. Never Ever.

Sam: Really?

Ted: Really!

Sam: Let's go with that… Yeah, let's go with that. You do you! Let's go with that. 

Ted: And in fact -

Sam: In fact, what?

Ted: I was using the Internet to do some work for our podcast -

Sam: Oh really?

Ted: To find some very interesting neologisms.

Sam: Neologisms? Fantastic. New words!

Ted: New. Words.

Sam: You found some new words, Ted?

Ted: New words in the English language that all the kids are using these days. 

Sam: Wow, this could be our first segment, right?

Ted: This… I was planning!

Sam: Wonderful, that's wonderful! And what would you call this new segment that you've been planning?

Ted: Well… I was thinking "Word on da Street" - Innit!

Sam: Haha, come on then, hit me with them.

Ted: So, the first one that I have, I love, and it happens all the time. This is what's called a portmanteau. And a portmanteau is -

Sam: Portmanteau? Is that a suitcase?

Ted: It is not a suitcase.

Sam: What is a portmanteau?

Ted: A portmanteau is when you take two words and you smush them together -

Sam: "Smush them"? Is that an official linguistic term?

Ted: That is the linguistic term! Smush them together.

Sam: Put them together?

Ted: Alright, yeah, but I like smush. You smush'em together, and then you end up with a new word.

Sam: So, a new word made up of two words put together.

Ted: Exactly. Ok, so, for example, the first one is Phubbing.  

Sam: Phubbing?

Ted: Yes, I often phub in the elevator.

Sam: I'm not sure I want to know what that is. But… maybe you could explain what it is? 

Ted: Yeah, well phubbing is -

Sam: Hang on! Have you phubbed me in the elevator?

Ted: I have never phubbed you.

Sam: Ok, that's alright then. Carry on!

Ted: Would you like me to phub you?

Sam: I don't know until you tell me what it is! So, go ahead! 

Ted: Ok. Phubbing is a portmanteau of the words "phone" and "snubbing," ok? To "snub" means to like ignore somebody, right?
So "phubbing", you put them together, is ignoring interacting, avoiding interacting with someone in favour of looking at your phone.

Sam: I think someone in the studio is phubbing us right now! 

Ted: Brooke!! Are you phubbing us?!

Brooke: No!

Sam: Producer Brooke is very much involved with her phone…

Ted: She's just on Instagram!

Brooke: I'm just buying you guys some more Insta likes! 

Sam: Yeah, right. Ok, what's next?

Ted: My next one on the list here, it's one you've maybe heard of it's quite a popular one, and that is "On Fleek".

Sam: I do know this one. I do indeed. It's… I can't remember where exactly it comes from… I think it comes from something on TV, or about some - some American character?

Ted: It was on YouTube.

Sam: It was on YouTube, yeah, or a TV show was it? I don't know. 

Anyway, so "on fleek" is another portmanteau, so it's two words put together and it's a combination of "sleek" and "fly". "Sleek" meaning sort of smooth, kind of shiny, an otter for example, a wet otter would be sleek. And "fly" is an Americanism -

Ted: Yeah - it's an Americanism, just means "really cool". 

Sam: So, you put the two together, and you've got "fleek" and if you're "on fleek"… it means, it's adjective describing a state of completeness, flawlessness, the quality of being perfect. 

So, today for example, Ted, listeners, has been to the barber and he's come back with a very, very on fleek hairdo. 

Ted: Right. Just for the podcast. 

Sam: Just for the podcast, he's made an extra effort. That is wasted, frankly, but he is looking very on fleek. 

Ted: Thank you very much. 

Sam: As ever. 

Ted: That's very nice of you.

Sam: Well turned out. Yeah.

Ted: Alright, I could lead us directly into our next segment.

Sam: Fabulous, what is that?

Ted: Our next segment is call "Ted Trumps!"

Sam: What does Ted do?

Ted: He trumps! 

Sam: What is "trumping", Ted? 

Ted: Well, "to trump", the verb, has a couple of meanings in English and the first one is to win or to beat. The other meaning is to fart. 

Sam: To pass wind. 

Ted: Right. To cut the cheese… as we say! 

Sam: Here we are, back to the cheese! Thank you, Wisconsin. 

Ted: I will be doing the former, ok? And… less of the latter but I'm making no promises - 

Sam: It's a small studio…

Ted: Right. So what I'm going to do in this segment, is I'm going to take some tweets from some famous people, well-known people and - 

Sam: What will you do with them, Ted?

Ted: I am going to correct their grammar because I am a grammarnaut.

Sam: A grammar knot?

Ted: A grammarnaut.

Sam: A grammar knot - is that like a twisted piece of grammar?

Ted: It's like an astronaut but for grammar, you know, exploring the deep dark reaches of grammar. 

Sam: Oh, yeah, grammar… yeah it's a bit pedantic.

Ted: I have a lot of fun with grammar. 

Sam: Yeah, it's true you do. 

Ted: But I have been called a pedant. 

Sam: It's true, you have been found in corners… grammaring away. 
Yeah, hahaha, well let's get on with it, shall we? 

Ted: Alright, this is a tweet from Justin Bieber.

Sam: Beaver. Oh.

Ted: Bieber.

Sam: Bieber?

Ted: Bieber! 

Sam: Oh, which is German for "beaver". 

Ted: Right, exactly, yeah. So, Justin Beaver.

Sam: And what has Justin Bieber been up to?

Ted: Well, Justin Bieber asks a hard-hitting question here. 
“Why is Rhode Island nor a road or an island?”

Sam: How do you spell "Rhode", as in Rhode Island, Ted?

Ted: R-H-O-D-E

Sam: And how do you spell "road" as in street, Ted?

Ted: R-O-A-D

Sam: Question answered, right?

Ted: So - exactly - Justin, you wrote the tweet, you can see that "Rhode" and "road" are different words. Now - 

Sam: And grammatically, yeah - 

Ted: And now we're going to talk about your grammar, Justin, ok? 
Getting out my red pen. 

So, Justin writes, “Why is Rhode Island nor a road or an island?”. 
Justin, "nor" - "or" is not a construction in English. What I believe that you were going for was the construction "neither" - "nor". 

Sam: Or neither - nor.

Ted: Or neither - nor. Depending on how you would like to pronunciate it… or pronounce… that's the real world. Ummm -

Sam: Either - or.

Ted: You can pronounce it either or either way that you want. 

Sam: Yes, exactly, it's true, both are correct. 

Ted: Ok anyway, so, the tweet should read, "Why is Rhode Island neither a road nor an island?". Ok? That's the way we write, Justin… and speak. 

Sam: Consider yourself corrected, Justin. 

Ted just trumped. 

Ted: Trumped you. Alright, very good! 

Sam: Right, is that all you've got for us, Ted?

Ted: That's all I've got. 

Sam: Ok, so Ted, you like a challenge, right?

Ted: Love a challenge. 

Sam: Are you a fan of queens? 

Ted: I like Queen, the band.

Sam: Yeah, ummm, I meant the royal sort, you know, kings and queens. 

Ted: Yeah, mixed feelings I guess… As an American. 

Sam: Yeah sure, yeah yeah, my uncle actually calls Queen Elizabeth, the British Queen, "Madge". 

Ted: Is that her middle name or something?

Sam: No, hahaha! It might be her middle name… I mean I can't tell you that but it's a shortening of "Her Majesty". Yeah, he uses it with some disdain. 

Ted: Ahhh, ok, alright. Now, he's not a big fan of queens. 

Sam: No, he's not a big fan of the Queen, no. Umm, well regardless of whether you're a fan or not, today we have a challenge for you and that is that I am going to teach you to speak like a queen! 

Ted: Ahh…Ok.

Sam: Are you ready to speak the Queen’s English, Ted?

Ted: Like I said, I'm always ready for a challenge! 

Sam: Good. Well, I have in my hand a special secret document that I prepared earlier. 

Have you ever wondered, Ted, what the difference is between the Queen’s English, BBC English, Oxford English, Standard English and British Received Pronunciation?

Ted: Umm, I have not wondered that before but -

Sam: I'm surprised! 

Ted: But I'm wondering it now - 

Sam: The answer is: There isn’t one — they’re all what we colloquially call “posh” English.

The word "posh" actually originates from cruise ships, it's an acronym of "Port Out, Starboard Home", does that say anything to you?  

Ted: I mean, I know what port means and starboard and acronym as well, when each letter stands for a word. 

Sam: Yeah, that's right, yeah. 

Ted: So port means left on a ship, starboard means right. 

Sam: Yeah that's right. So the cabins on the ship that had the best view and were therefore the most expensive were port on the way out of the harbour and starboard on the way back into the harbour - 

Ted: Ahhh so you can get a nicer view! 

Sam: Exactly, yeah, so the posh people were the people that had the best cabins. 

Ted: That is very interesting. 

Sam: That's where the word posh comes from. 

Ted: Oh I learnt something very new today. 

Sam: Anyway, moving on. British Received Prononciation (BRP) appeared in the late 18th century among the upper classes and spread rapidly across the British Empire. 

A posh accent was, and still is, to be honest, a sign of “superior” social status, as the underlying intention was to eradicate “inferior” regional accents. They were trying to do away with all of the Yorkshire accents and the West Country accents… They wanted everybody to speak like the Queen.

Ted: Does the "received" part of received prononciation basically mean that is it not a natural one that you receive this from someone?

Sam: I think it's more that it's received knowledge, in a sense that, like, it's given. It's given knowledge that everyone should speak like this. If you're properly educated you speak the Queen's English. That's the idea, which is obviously nonsense because people have all sorts of accents. 

Anyway, until recently, there was a phenomena of people putting on or learning a received accent to have more success in life - and it works! 

Ted: Like Madonna.

Sam: Not Madonna but, hahah, there are more famous examples but-  

Ted: She did that though.

Sam: Madonna is not famous for - 

Ted: Yeah for sure! 

Sam: Did she?

Ted: Yeah! She's from Michigan and then she was married to Guy Ritchie for a while, moved to England and then came back and was, like, speaking with this posh British accent, and everyone was, like, what?

Sam: So yeah and until recently, it was common practice for university students, public figures, TV and radio presenters to adjust their accents to get ahead. It's only been in the past maybe 15-20 years that on the radio and on TV, people have started using a much more diverse selection of accents actually, because people actually like accents. 

Ted: I love accents! 

Sam: Yeah, for sure. Me too. Me too. 

Now, for this challenge of yours, you need to know how to speak the Queen's English. 

There are three phonetic indicators of BRP. The first one, the clear pronunciation of the letter "H" at the beginning of words such as “hat” and “hamper.” 

Ted: Hat and Hamper

Sam: Hat and Hamper, yes ok, got that? 

Number 2, the inaudible "R" in words such as “car” and “heart”.

Ted: Car, heart

Sam: Car, heart

Yeah, exactly. 

And 3, the long vowels, which require an incredibly high palate. Now, ok Ted, try saying “darling” and “oh”, one or the other, with your mouth wide open like you’re at the dentist, or as if you have a golf ball in your mouth.

Ted: DARLING!

Sam: DARLING!

Ted: OH!

Sam: OH! 

Exactly, now put them together.

Ted: Oh darling! 

Sam: Exactly, exactly! I think you're going to be very good at this. 

Ted: Fabulous darling! 

Sam: Darling! 

Ted: Darling! 

Sam: Ok right, so before you begin your imitation of the Queen, I was looking up some stuff about the Queen. 

It turns out that the Queen uses her handbag to communicate with her staff, that's her main tool of communication. 

Ted: Like, based on the colour of it?

Sam: I think more what's she doing with it. So, if she's waving it above her head, it probably means there's an emergency. 

Ted: I would think so, yeah. 

Sam: Maybe she twitches it when she's uncomfortable and needs the bathroom… not sure! 

According to the Queen’s cousin, Margaret Rhodes, every day she enjoys a gin and Dubonnet before lunch, with a slice of lemon and a lot of ice. With lunch, she drinks a dry Martini, and every night before bed she enjoys a glass of champagne. By the UK government’s standards, this officially makes Her Majesty a binge drinker, having consumed six units of alcohol per day.

Ted: Alright, she’d fit in just great in Wisconsin.

Sam: She would fit in perfectly, I'm sure, yeah! 

She once said, and maybe you can try saying this after me, "For me, heaven is likely to be a bit of a come-down." Try saying that, Ted. 

Ted: "For me, heaven is likely to be a bit of a come-down."

Sam: Your "come-down" came down a little bit at the end there, it sounded more Yorkshire. Come-down! You have to think of - 

Ted: Come-down!

Sam: Come-down!

Exactly, yeah this is good because this is maybe also a portmanteau. 

The Queen once invented a new breed of dog called the ‘dorgi’. 

Ted: Ok. I know that she has corgis. 

Yeah, well, she mated her pet corgi with one of Princess Margaret’s dachshunds, Pipkin, thereby creating a dorgi. 

Ted: That sounds like it would be a really long dog. 

Sam: Possibly, yeah yeah, it gets better though. The dorgi was named Chipper. However, Chipper was killed after The Queen Mother’s dog attacked him. Isn't that awful? 

Ted: Oh no! Chipper! 

Sam: But don’t worry, he was not the only dorgi! She has four surviving dorgis left, their names are Cider, Berry, Vulcan, and Candy.

Ted: Aw cute! 

Sam: Yeah, now, it's time for the challenge. 

Maybe you already know this listeners, but every year at Christmas the Queen makes a speech on the television. The most famous of these speeches was the one in which she described a bad year in Latin as her “Annus horribilis”. Have you ever had an “annus horibilis”, Teddy?

Ted: I can't say that I have but I'd go to a doctor if I did, Sam!

Sam: Good, well now it’s time for the Queen’s English challenge, in which Ted tries to speak like her majesty...

I'm going to say a phrase, as if I was the Queen, and I want you to repeat it back to me in a perfect BRP accent. 

Ted: I will try to be as perfect as possible, Sam.

Sam: You're nearly perfect, Ted. 

Anyway, try your best, phrase number 1: “I have to be seen to be believed.”

Ted: “I have to be seen to be believed.”

Sam: Pretty good, pretty good. This one, which is possibly my favourite, short and snappy: “I should like to be a horse.”

I have no idea for the context for this sentence, it is verifiable, and now it is your turn. 

Ted: Alright, here we go: “I should like to be a horse.”

Sam: Your “I” was a little bit wobbly at the beginning there. 

Ted: I 

Sam: I

Again, with that high palette.

Ted: “I should like to be a horse.”

Sam: Yep, you did very well there, you dropped the "R", the inaudible "R" was perfect in horse. 

Ted: Thank you. 

Horse! 

Sam: The queen does have a lot of horses and they're winners as well, she makes a lot of money with those horses.  

Ted: Maybe with medical advances, her dream will come true… Centaur Queen.

Sam: Maybe it will! It would be interesting to have the British Isles ruled by a horse but not surprising these days... Next one! 

In 1982, someone broke into the Queen's bedroom and she said afterwards, “I realized immediately that it wasn't a servant because they don't slam doors.”

Now, take your time, take your breath before you say this. 

Ted: Ok, “I realized immediately that it wasn't a servant because they don't slam doors.”

Sam: Again, you're slipping a bit off into some kind of Harry Potter. 

Right, so, we're going to move on to our next segment. 

Are Aussie Rules a familiar concept to you, Ted?

Ted: Like, rules of how to interact with Ozzy Osbourne? Ozzy Rules?

Sam: Hahah nothing to do with Ozzy Osborne or biting the heads off of doves, he did that didn't he?

Ted: A bat, I believe it was a bat. 

Sam: Bats! Oh right, ok. Bats - Bats in the belfry! Umm, which is a phrase to say someone is mad if they have bats in the belfry. 

Right, ok so, in this segment, Celebrity Bites, the final part of the show, Patt Horsburger from Babbel’s PR department is with us in the studio to answer all of your Aussie questions! 

Welcome, Patt. 

Patt: Hi! I mean, I guess you expect me to say g'day because that's what everyone expects of an Australian but - 

Sam: Can you?

Patt: G’day mate! 

Sam: G'day mate! G'day Patt!  

Ted: Thank you, Patt.

Patt: Hello guys, thanks for having me here! 

Sam: It’s very nice to have you with us. Can you explain, because I know what Aussie Rules are, can you explain to our American friend in the corner, Ted, what Aussie Rules are?

Patt: Oh you mean the rules of being Australian basically, like carrying a Vegemite around in your pocket at all times.  

Sam: That wasn't what I was thinking of! 

Patt: Downing a beer in one go, is that what you mean?

Sam: No it wasn't, no, as far as I'm aware, Aussie Rules have nothing to do with language, they're to do with - it's football, basically. 

Patt: Ah yeah, of course, yeah, the other Aussie Rules -

Sam: You know? You call it soccer - 

Ted: It's soccer.

Brooke: Wo wo wait, it's not soccer. It's Australian football. 

Ted: Yeah, anyway, Pat I would like to ask you about your favourite PR moment, Pat.

Patt: Well, funnily enough actually, it does have to do with Australians and misunderstandings of slang but I guess that's probably why I'm here talking to you, right?

Yeah, we surveyed I think it was 8 different nationalities on how they understood different Australian sayings, everything from "g'day" to "face like a dropped pie", "she's a right ripper, mate", "carrying on like a pork chop" -

Sam: Never heard that before! 

Ted: Alright! 

Patt: The responses that came back were hilarious, I think the funniest one for me was "carrying on like a pork chop", someone thought that it meant "a fat person trying to complete a task". 

Ted: Could you explain to us what carrying on like a pork chop actually means because I have no idea! 

Patt: Yeah, it just means being an idiot. But it's something your dad might have said to you when you're like 5: "Oh stop carrying on like a pork chop, mate!"

Sam: Pork chops being famous for idiotic - 

Ted: Right, they do not have brains so - 

Sam: You silly old pork chop! Don't be a pork chop! 

Patt: Yeah, that was a funny one, I think we also had something like "she'll be right, mate" which is, of course, I mean you probably know what that means. Someone said that "the wife is always correct", which, I mean, maybe in that person's life is true -

Sam: Often the case.

Patt: It just means "everything's going to be ok", it's usually used in a dangerous situation. It's like : "Oh, should we not wear all of our seatbelts and speed off this cliff? Yeah! She'll be right, mate!"

Means everything is going to be fine. 

Sam: Very logical - no-one's going to die horribly. 

Ted: Famous last words. 

Sam: Patt, you actually starred as an Aussie hunk in a special lesson we put together for Valentine's Day, right?

Patt: Of course, I did, yes! First person to ask, of course, would be me. 
I think I introduced you to fun terms like "pash rash" -

Sam: Can you explain that one to us?

Patt: Well, pash rash is when you scratch up someone's face with your beard while kissing them. Because, of course, "pashing" is snogging I guess in the UK. 

Sam: Snogging being kissing - 

Ted: Making out.

Patt: Yeah it's extreme kissing, it's not just - there's tongues involved. Umm, and a "rash" is actually a rash, it's not short for anything. 

Sam: I like "extreme kissing", it makes it sound like sport! 

Patt: Can we call the Olympics and see if we can - 

Sam: Extreme kissing can lead to pash rash. 

Patt: I remember that ad from the 90s! 

Sam: Well, that's been very enlightening! Thank you very much, Patt, for being with us. Hmm, I guess we should probably wrap it up, right? We've come to the end of our incredible journey… 

Ted: Beautiful, thank you. 

Sam: So folks, you’ve been listening to me, Sam.

Ted: and me, Ted.

Patt: And, of course, me, it's been an honor, thank you. 

Sam: Very welcome. Thank you, Patt Horsburger! Would you actually read out the email and twitter addresses for us, so our listeners can get in touch?

Patt: Oh it would be my honor, yes, of course. It's podcasting@babbel.com or… Twitter @Babbel. 

Sam: I might introduce that again and say, Patt, would you read out the email and twitter address for us, so our listeners can get in touch? 

Patt: Sure thing, address all hate mail to @Babbel on Twitter, or email podcasting@babbel.com.

Ted: And before you go, remember to subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts and while you're there you can search "Babbel" and search other shows from our colleagues. Thank you for listening.